Honestly...

So I said I'm going to be more honest with myself...

These are my favorite fall food.

My BFF loves them too.

That's the reason she's my BFF.

Well, not the only reason, but a really good reason.

I lie to myself about "punkins".

They're only sold during Halloween season(which Wal-Mart seems to think is August-October)They are my favorite fall color.

They taste AMAZING! Sugary, mallowy, sweetness.

Did I mention, you can only get them for 3 months out of the year?

So...I lie.

I tell myself it's ok to eat an entire bag.

I hoard them like a squirrel.

I don't hibernate or have to save up all of my food until winter....but I eat them like I do.

I tell myself lies. I make myself believe that its ok to binge on "punkins".

While "punkins" may not seem like that big of a deal, it's still a lie.

The real reason I ate the whole bag is....I have no self control.

I have no self control in other areas of my life, as well.
Eating candy is just one of those areas.

If I lie to myself about my lack of candy eating self control...

what bigger lies am I making myself believe?

Just being honest.

Really???

Let's be honest....

I'm a liar.

Not so much to other people, but to myself.

I lie to myself every. single. day.

I tell myself lies so often, I start to believe they are true.



This past Sunday, Andy Stanley started a new series at Buckhead. It kicked my butt.

The series is entitled, "Your Move". It's all about making the tough decisions that we have to make in life, and how do you decide what to do.

Part 1 was titled, "Really?"



Are we really honest with ourselves when we do things? Do we lie to ourself about our reasons? Do we lie to ourselves and to others to cover up the real reason we make a decision to do something?

Why did you really break up?

Why did you really not want to go out again?

Why did you really not call?

Why did you really want to lose weight?

Why did you really buy that house? that car? that new low-cut shirt?

Why did you really???



If we're honest with ourselves...

If I'm honest with myself....

It's all about me.

It's all about what makes me feel good.

It's all about making people like me, whether its who I really am or not.

It's all about getting people to notice me...to compliment me...to envy me.



I do things not because I need to.

I didn't need new clothes.

I didn't need a new car.

I didn't need to not answer his call.



I wanted new clothes...to keep up with what was "fashionable"

I wanted a new car....so I could say, "Look at me!"

I didn't answer his call because I was worried what my friends would think about him...and about me.



It's hard to be completely honest, not so much with other people, but with myself.

As Andy said, "we're experts at selling ourselves on what we want."

We believe our made up reasons for our bad decisions.



I make bad decisions because I want to be happy.

They may not be the best decision...the right decision...the thought out decision...

they are the decisions that will make me happy.



Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"

My heart is deceitful, and I "listen to my heart" all the time.



So, I'm hoping that I can become more honest with myself.

It takes work for sure.



Look in a mirror....no really, go look in a mirror.

Say it out loud....no really, say it out loud.

Ask yourself....

I'm asking myself...

Why am I doing this REALLY???


The real reason I'm....